For the most part, every little girl plays with Barbies (and some little boys do too) at some point in their childhood. So it stands to reason then that almost every little girl has come across and run into at some point what I like to dub "the Ken Conundrum." what is the Ken Conundrum you ask? Aside from being phonetically intriguing, it is the idea that the ratio of Barbie dolls to Ken dolls (in a typical household) is usually highly unbalanced in the favor of the blonde bombshell. In fact scientic studies done to support my theory show that the Barbie to Ken Ratio is actually 30:1. (disclaimer- i totally just made all that up) keeping these numbers in mind, the ken Conundrum is the problem of deciding which Barbie's get to date Ken.
Little girls have a couple key decisions to make when faced with the Ken Conundrum. One, they can choose to dip their toes into the drama of having Ken date more than one Barbie (which usually ends in tears). Two, they can choose to pair up their elusive Ken doll with their Favorite Barbie, leaving the least favorite Barbies sad and alone. Three, they can forgo Ken (men) altogether. A fourth option is available however and this was the option that my sister and i typically chose (we were pragmatic afterall).
Instead of whoring Ken out, exulting a singular relationship, or turning Barbie lesbian my sister and I chose a more independent route. Our Barbies were hot-to-trot divorcees. Independent and attractive dolls who left the troughs of an unhealthy relationship. Often we brought in Ken as the occasional date or ex-husband but most of the time we simply left him to rot in his plastic bin. Our Barbie's were career women (albeit with skimpy clothes) who didn't need a man to validate her. Often times we even threw in a Stacy doll and made them single mothers. (Stacy, for those of you unlucky to be intimately familiar with the Mattel World, is roughly an 8 year old girl (ahem, doll) who actually is supposed to be Barbie's younger sister).
So the lesson is this; instead of fretting over the fact that you don't have an adequate amount of Ken dolls, break up your Barbie Dream House, throw in a child and let go of your childish notions that you have to have an equal number of Barbie and Ken dolls (because everyone knows that is JUST not going to happen.)
Monday, January 25, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
The Great Tree
Every little kid plays make believe at some point or another. Its pretty much a given fact. And there are any number of ways in which they will achieve this. Some will pretend they are sports stars. Some will pretend they are teachers. Some will even pretend they are animals. And some kids, kids like my sister and myself, will pretend their Christmas Ornaments are living breathing creatures with a destiny.
Yes this is a true story of bravery, valor and adventure. And no, I am not kidding. If the ornaments didn't take the long journey from my parents coffee table to THE GREAT TREE (also known by everyday average people as a so-called "Christmas Tree")how were they going to enjoy the month of December as Christmas decorations? And more importantly, how were they going to keep an eye on my Christmas presents? (We all know the elves try to steal presents when Santa isn't looking).
So my sister and I came to the conclusion that OUR Christmas ornnments deserved much better than a simple tree hanging. They deserved an adventure! To begin we would pile all the ornaments onto the coffee table. Then, depending on the year we would create some sort of story line that would involve an angel visitng the townsfolk at night warning them of a great disaster and encouraging them to make the trip to the Great Tree where they could finally rest at ease. Naturally we had sevreal ornaments who we used as leaders. These ornaments, the wise and mysterious unicorn, the warm and experienced kitten and several others took on the responsibility of transporting the entire town safely through dangerous mountain ranges (the stairs), intimidating forests (our parent's fake plants), and lastly the cliffs of insanity (the kitchen counters). Like any great journey there were a few casualities (which our parents were none to pleased about) but the majority of the ornaments reached the welcoming branches of the Great Tree without harm. The adventure was full of heartache (Mickey and Minnie usually had some sort of falling out) romance (Barbie usually managed to find a man), and intrigue (sometimes non-ornaments would make an appearance). Needless to say, getting a dog in middle school threw a whole new element into the mix as the ornaments had to avoid being crushed by the large and ferocious beast. And yes I just admitted that we did this well into middle school. Stop judging!
Once the ornaments reached the Great Tree they had to decide where to be placed. This was important because certain ornaments could not be next to each other or fighting would ensue -and the Great Tree is too busy shining brightly and full of Christmas cheer to have that kind of a distraction. So it was up to my sister and I to make sure that everyone was placed appropriately and in a spot condusive to the zen like quality we wanted the tree to maintain.
I like to say we did a good job- as every year our tree looked beautiful and even though its admirers had no idea the trials and tribulations it took to make the tree look just so, they appreciated it all the same.
The lesson is this, next time you are putting your tree up consider how your ornaments feel. Just because they can't talk (without your help) doesn't mean they aren't important.
How will you hand YOUR ornaments this year?!
Yes this is a true story of bravery, valor and adventure. And no, I am not kidding. If the ornaments didn't take the long journey from my parents coffee table to THE GREAT TREE (also known by everyday average people as a so-called "Christmas Tree")how were they going to enjoy the month of December as Christmas decorations? And more importantly, how were they going to keep an eye on my Christmas presents? (We all know the elves try to steal presents when Santa isn't looking).
So my sister and I came to the conclusion that OUR Christmas ornnments deserved much better than a simple tree hanging. They deserved an adventure! To begin we would pile all the ornaments onto the coffee table. Then, depending on the year we would create some sort of story line that would involve an angel visitng the townsfolk at night warning them of a great disaster and encouraging them to make the trip to the Great Tree where they could finally rest at ease. Naturally we had sevreal ornaments who we used as leaders. These ornaments, the wise and mysterious unicorn, the warm and experienced kitten and several others took on the responsibility of transporting the entire town safely through dangerous mountain ranges (the stairs), intimidating forests (our parent's fake plants), and lastly the cliffs of insanity (the kitchen counters). Like any great journey there were a few casualities (which our parents were none to pleased about) but the majority of the ornaments reached the welcoming branches of the Great Tree without harm. The adventure was full of heartache (Mickey and Minnie usually had some sort of falling out) romance (Barbie usually managed to find a man), and intrigue (sometimes non-ornaments would make an appearance). Needless to say, getting a dog in middle school threw a whole new element into the mix as the ornaments had to avoid being crushed by the large and ferocious beast. And yes I just admitted that we did this well into middle school. Stop judging!
Once the ornaments reached the Great Tree they had to decide where to be placed. This was important because certain ornaments could not be next to each other or fighting would ensue -and the Great Tree is too busy shining brightly and full of Christmas cheer to have that kind of a distraction. So it was up to my sister and I to make sure that everyone was placed appropriately and in a spot condusive to the zen like quality we wanted the tree to maintain.
I like to say we did a good job- as every year our tree looked beautiful and even though its admirers had no idea the trials and tribulations it took to make the tree look just so, they appreciated it all the same.
The lesson is this, next time you are putting your tree up consider how your ornaments feel. Just because they can't talk (without your help) doesn't mean they aren't important.
How will you hand YOUR ornaments this year?!
My childhood
If you know me, then chances are you have been privileged (or maybe not) to hear many of my unique childhood stories. I grew up a normal girl with a big imagination and my sister (she will be so angry is she doesn't get a shout out) and I had what resulted in (unbeknown to us at the time) a very unique childhood full of awkward and funny stories. This blog is a collaboration of stories that over the years have made for some interesting tellings. So sit back and enjoy the foray into my world.
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