Manatees and Broken Arms

I know its been a little while since I've last blogged and I promise to do better in the future but in all fairness my reasons for not posting are pretty legit. I am currently a one armed, bus riding, sling wearing member of society, all because of a little incident with black ice. Yes thats right, I was jogging to my apartments workout facility (because it was just too dangerously slippery to run outside) when I slipped on that tricky black ice and went down harder than a rotten sack of potatoes. Just like that Canadian Alanis Morisette said,

'isn't it ironic?"

Anyways, my point is that typing one handed is no easy feat and add that to the string of bad luck I've had in the short time that has been 2010 and it's easy to see why I've been distracted. You see, my broken arm isn't the first bad thing thats happened, its just one thing in a long run of incidents that I at first attributed to bad karma. With the amount of unlucky circumstances I've had (my apartment flooded, I got my first speeding ticket, my dog died, and i got the flu) I figured I just really made the karma gods mad somehow. Then I got to thinking- I'm a good person! I make poverty wages voluntarily! I volunteer! This cant be a case of bad karma. So i made the only other logical connection. My bad luck must be a result of the manatee necklace my boyfriend got me for Christmas. Yes you heard me right, I own a manatee necklace.

Let me explain, if you know me you understand I have an illogical but great love of the gentle sea cows of North America (who also seem to have bad luck). So for Christmas this past year my amazing boyfriend bought me a silver manatee necklace online. I immediately put it on and decided with great relish that I was never taking it off. Now some people may have become annoyed at the constant inquires as to why I was wearing a furry dolphin around my neck but no, I just found my silver mammal to be an excellent conversation starter among both friends and strangers. Until bad things started happening and continuing to happen until one day the necklace fell off (and because I am one armed right now -stayed off). Once I quit wearing the necklace my good luck returned. I found out I didn't need surgery, my work presentation went well and I stopped getting sick!

But why you ask would a simple manatee necklace be cursed? The answer is simple, my boyfriend bought it online, we don't know where it came from. Perhaps it was stolen from a grave on a cursed Native American burial ground (this seems to be the likely explanation) or perhaps a tragic story of a zoo-keeper and her favorite pet manatee is attached. Likely we will never find out and its also likely my manatee necklace will need to be exorcised before I can wear it in good conscience again. But I will say this- not many girls can say they have been given a cursed manatee necklace for Christmas so Mike, you win in the categories of originality and excitement. And to my readers, never fear my crazy childhood stories will be back shortly-right after I'm done Googling "how to de-curse your beloved manatee necklace." I am sure Apple has an App for that.